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December 13, 2011 Elephant

The Continuing Adventures of Eco Boy vs. Yoga Girl: The Cure is Naked.

"The below is an excerpt of a forthcoming novella. It’s autobiographical fiction (with the emphasis on fiction). Book forthcoming in Spring 2012."

"The most direct way to destroy an altruistic human being is to threaten their ability to be good. These humans are creatures not driven by money or sex or candy or any sweet thing. These humans are creatures driven by joy and pain—inspiration and empathy. Threaten an altruistic human's ability to be of benefit—and you take away her reason to live." ~ Dr. Willard Evans.

He'd caught Him.

Wasn't sure if it was God Himself, or just the magical elves who were responsible for forming him out of clay back in the day, but he'd woken up this morning and He or they'd forgotten to put his face back together. It was a big amorphous lump with a few eyes set clumsily in the middle of it, like a snowman out of Calvin & Hobbes.

He'd been working the night before, until late—3, 4 am—as he'd done most nights for 8 months straight since She Who Must Not Be Named had moved out. Somehow, naively, he figured that working all the time kept him safe. Not sure of the logic on that—but it was better than going out and dating and being paranoid he'd run into She, or, more likely, she'd run into him. "I'm not traumatized, he explained jocularly one morning to his barista, when said barista'd asked him about She—"'traumatized' implies it's my issue. It's more like PTSD."

He was staring at his playdough face in the mirror, about to shower (hoping his face would reform into the Eco Boy he knew and loved) when his home's doorbell rang. He froze, as if he'd been tazed... the rest.

Yours in working (and playing) to create enlightened society,

~Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis
editor-in-chief, host, Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis

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